It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
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Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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