Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize