Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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