Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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