Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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