We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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