my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Floor bacon is actually really good
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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