You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize