after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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