Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
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This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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