i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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