i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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