3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize