Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize