in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
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He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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