i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
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Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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