how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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