paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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