I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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