Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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