Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it's like iHOP with fire
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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