Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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