I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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