so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
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I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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