He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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