I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize