Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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