I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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