Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize