You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize