This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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