You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize