My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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