This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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