hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
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the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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