Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize