Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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