my phone needs a breathalizer
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize