we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
