I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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