her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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