I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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