We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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