so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
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Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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