At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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