Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
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At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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