My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Terrible idea I love it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize