Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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