just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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