I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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