i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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