someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize